Dear Coach Greg: I’m so...tired of being single! Lately, it seems like I’m going on a lot of first dates, but it never develops into a meaningful relationship. Or, I just don’t feel any real “chemistry” between us and I call it off before getting to really know the other person. My friends tell me that I have a nice personality and a great sense of humor. I want to share my life with someone “special”, and I also don’t want to be home again for Valentine’s Day! What am I doing wrong?

Frustrated and Lonely

Dear Frustrated and Lonely: I hear your frustration loud and clear! It can be a very lonely feeling if you are trying to find a long term relationship, yet nothing seems to work. Since you are not having difficulty meeting other singles, I’ll focus my remarks on your ability to date on a more “conscious” level. Are you clear about what you want in a meaningful relationship? Are you “showing up” as the person you want to be (and ultimately attract) on recent dates? Are you able to connect with others in all four components of connection: intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, in addition to connecting physically. In other words, if you are presenting yourself to others as an empowered, confident, single who is consciously looking for someone who is ready to make a commitment to a long term relationship based on mutual respect, acceptance, compassion, and trust you will attract someone “very special”.

Begin your journey by taking a long look in the mirror and make a commitment to changing your approach not only to dating but also to your life. Your next step will be to work on your own personal growth which will help you be happy with yourself while you are currently single leaving your loneliness, frustration and self-doubt in the past. Some helpful resources that can assist you on your journey include:

1. Take a series of relationship preparation workshops for singles titled: Getting Clear About What You Want and How To Make It Happen (#4212), It’s Not Just About Sex! The Four Components of Connection (#4213), and Conscious Dating (#4214) at Colorado Free University [www.freeu.com].

2. Read the books: Conscious Dating by David Steele and Fearless Loving: 8 Simple Truths That Will Change the Way You Date, Mate, and Relate by Rhonda Britten.

3. Hire a relationship coach to support you on your journey and to keep you focused until you reach your destiny.