Dear Coach Greg: Like most of my single friends it has been a long time since I've dated anyone and even longer since I've been in a committed relationship. Lately, I've noticed that I enjoy being single - I'm passionate about my career and I have fiends to socialize with when I feel the need. My dog greets me when I come home from work and my kitten purrs softly on my lap each evening. The problem arises at family gatherings during the holiday season. I was frequently asked by "concerned" relatives and family friends - "Are you dating anyone special?", "When are you going to settle down, get married, and start a family?", "I know someone that I want you to meet?" The guilt and societal pressure to get married can be overwhelming at times! Should I actively pursue a long-term relationship before I miss my chance at love?
Alone But NOT Lonely in Port Salerno
Dear Alone: The following advice may seem odd since I am a relationship coach, but I think you are right on track. After all, the most important relationship we ever have is the one with ourselves. You appear to be content and enjoy your single life. You have animal companions which bring you joy, a passionate career, and plenty of friends to meet your social needs. I applaud you for being a happy and successful single.
Someday, if you choose to expand your definition of living a happy and successful life then you might also be ready to consciously prepare yourself for a committed, long-term relationship which can also be a very rewarding and fulfilling experience. Use your time spent casually dating as an opportunity to practice how you want to "show up" in your next relationship. This "pre-committed" dating stage also gives you the opportunity to date a variety of people who may be able to meet some of your emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual needs. Above all, don't make any life changing decisions until you are ready and make them only for the right reasons.
For additional relationship resources for singles:
1. read the following relationship book:
Conscious Dating: Finding The Love Of Your Life In Today's World, by David Steele;
2. for monthly relationship support and interaction with like minded singles visit:
www.RelationshipCoach.us, then click on Services Offered -
Relationship Coaching for Singles.
Send your relationship question for
Relationship Coaching Corner to:
gregrthiel@comcast.net or visit
www.RelationshipCoach.us.