Cancer and Me

It was a year ago today I got the call, the biopsy came back positive for cancer. Those words are still echoeing inside my head. After a few weeks of scans and tests I was diagnosed with stage 3 esophugeal cancer. Survival rate about 15% because 75% never make it through the surgery. The surgery consists of removing the esophugeous and re-attaching the stomach to the throat.

Every time I turned on the radio I heard that song live like you are dieing. Let me tell you there is nothing romantic about getting a death dentence at 43years old. I am a single parent and my youngest daughter was 17, she didn't turn 18 until just before Christmas. How do you tell your child you won't be alive for their birthday?

I made a decision that I was going to be alright. I studied everything there was on the internet about my cancer and cancer in general. I started a rigid juicing routine along with eating high alkaline foods and drinking lots of water then started the 3 months of cemotherapy.

I went once a week for the main treatment and constantly wore a pump that pumped a steady flow of chemicals into my body through a port which was implanted in my chest. I made the legal arrangements I needed to make so my daughter would be taken care of and set the surgery date.

My dad "whom I haven't seen in several years" came down and stayed with me for a month to help me through the cemo and my brother from Maine was scheduled to come and stay with me for a week after the surgery to help me out. I never told him how grim the prognosis was.

While I was recovering from the cemo and preparing for the surgery I told my daughter what the doctors had said about the surgery. I think that was the hardest thing I have every done in my life, it makes me want to cry even now as I write this. I assured her I was going to be alright but I thought it would be better if she had time to adjust to things and not just wake up one day to a sudden and stark realization that I was gone.

From the first day I got the news I never really allowed myself to think anything negitive would happen. I just took one day at a time, one proceedure at a time and concentrated about making it through the day at hand. The night before the surgery was no different.

My daughter and I went to Miami the day before the surgery and hung out pool side at the hotel and enjoyed ourselves. I was up @5 taking a taxi to the hospital. My brother came down around 11 and picked up my daughter and brought her to the hospital.

After 8 hours in surgery and 1 collapsed lung later I woke up to my daughter holding my hand explaining how she broke the glove box door because she couldn't get it open and her wallet was inside and how they wouldn't let her in the hospital with out her I.D. etc.. I remember think "yup I am still here".

I spent 4 days in surgical Intensive Care and 1 day in a reg room and went home on Halloween day. They sent me home on a feeding tube and I had a nurse coming in once a day to change bandages etc... After 3 days I was back in the hospital with Salmanila poisoning. I lost 40 lbs in 4 days and checked myself out of the hospital and went home to let life run its course.

After I got home my feeding tube fell out while I was getting sick and when I called my surgeon he said to just stick it back in. Needless to say it stayed out. I was drinking liquids until the day came when I couldn't swallow anymore. After being ignored by my surgeon and countless others my family doctor asked how the dialations of my throat were working. Needless to say I had no Idea what he was talking about. Come to find out when they re-attach the stomach they make the hole small and you have to literally have your throat strecthed afterwards until the opening gets open enough and stays open. Each treatment rips the throat then when it heals it gets smaller then you repeat the procedure.

I scheduled it out with my gastrolegist and have gone from weekly treatments to monthly treatments. I have lost over 80lbs, my diabetes is gone, my blood pressure is normal and my general health is good.

I started back to work in February and although I have an office job my nights were spent in agonizing pain. All my muscles have atrophied so bad after spending 3 months in bed that simply being up right caused me pain. About 3 weeks ago I was shopping for cloths and was holding 3 dress shirts in my arm for about 15 minutes. My arm hurt so badly for 3 days I could barely move it.

Something had to change I just couldn't go on the way things were. I went to TNT and signed up for the VIP program. John created my work out schedule and diet based upon my special needs and here I am 3 weeks later and what a difference. Not only do I make it through the day but I go to the gym afterwards. No more screaming pain at night. I am on the road to having my life back.

God has a sense of humor so becareful if you pray to lose weight LOL. God has faithfully seen me through all of my trials, he gave me the doctors I needed, the support I needed and has placed everyone in my path that I needed to meet in order for me to do what I needed to do.

I am still working at it, I am still having my throat done, I am still fighting to get back BUT! There is progress now where before was only despair. I am so thankful for all I have and all I have been given. I have been blessed with caring loving people who have taken the time to help me down my road.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story, it is on going and hopefuly will not have an ending anytime soon.